Decisions (Sex Offenders, Work Power, etc.)

My 26th birthday quickly approaches, and as I've come of adult age, I've begun to look at the winding curve of my life. I haven't a clue where my life is leading, I haven't an idea of where to sail. I know only certain things have become true as I've sailed aimlessly, albeit reluctantly, onward.

I have decided to own property, and to exclusively rent this property (away from schools, parks, pools, churches, etc...) to those that have a sex offender felony in their past. I know that sounds controversial, and there are all sorts of things going through your head right now. Mostly the question WHY. The answer is that I work with them now, and I have stopped being part of typical society as a result. I still react to the crimes in the same way as society, shock, hatred, disgust...but as a Christian, when they have served their time, when they have repented, when they have changed...it is our duty to help them assimilate into society once again. The questions will always linger, "How do you know they've changed? What if you're wrong? What if they commit again?" If they do, they go back to prison. Period. If we don't provide them housing, as it is nearly impossible for them to get housing, then they will be roaming the streets. Are you aware that if a sex offender can't find housing, they are assigned a street corner as an address? That means they could be anywhere. Outside. Is that better? no. Obviously, the facility would need to be monitored, but I'd like to be able to provide this help to them in in a near future. Maybe the next few years. I could probably start a housing organization...and I would employ some of these individuals as well, at least for intake or something of the sort. I don't have anything definite, obviously, but I want to help fill this need somehow.

That's all I have for now, actually. Originally, I had wanted to give a general catch up of my life, but nothing new is going on. I have no plans for celebrating my 26th birthday, I haven't exercised in 2 weeks, I'm talking to people a lot less for no real reason, I've stopped painting/sketching altogether, and work has been stressful.

Actually, Yes! Let's talk about work. My work bosses are traumatized by prior employee females that ended up in relationships with the males at the shelter. I guess the rules before were something along the lines of "your business is your business but keep it outside the shelter." NOW the rules are "NO. Not here, not there, not Anywhere." because these chicks couldn't keep it off the work property. As you know, those of you whom I know in person, I am a highly social, emotional, mid-tempered individual. I like to work, I work excessively, and I like to have fun while I do so. I can't work and not socialize. It just doesn't work for me. I will get anything you need done, but don't put me in a box by myself, I will not last long. Thanks to these prior rule-breakers, I'm now monitored. I'm not sure that it's on purpose, but I can sense that it's happening. I can't eat in the common room anymore, I can't have a resident assist me in the kitchen anymore, actually I can't even take longer than an hour for set up otherwise it looks suspicious. I talk to someone and they watch me, like I have some hidden agenda they're hunting. I'm sure it'll pass with time, but I can't help to wonder whether or not they really have control over what I do in my private time. If I run into an ex resident out there, and we have lunch, am I fired? What if one of them starts working at the places I hang out - do I have to stop going there? Heck, what if one of them starts going to my church? Or they end up at the MCC when I'm there? Or they go to the thrift shops I go to? Logistically speaking, there are at least 90 guys there at any given time, all of them working in the mesa area, most of them near the facility, and most of them move out to places in mesa. Eventually, it's bound to happen. Does that make me Bound to get fired? I mean, how much power are we talking about them having here? I'm not fighting for a right to date these guys, just for the right not to be fired over what I do when I'm not on the clock with them. Because my life is none of their business, especially when it doesn't affect them. It's been a few months so far though, and I still truly love my job, despite the stress and constant flux in rules and expectations. Apart from their heavy suspicious, I hope they like me too! Most of all though, I hope I am in some way making a positive impact on the lives of the residents with whom I interact on a daily basis. That's all that really matters to me. I want to know their names, their stories, their hopes. I want to touch their lives, hold them to an expectation and hope they rise to it. They're my children (to me) and I want them to successfully get off the ground. I don't know how much longer I'll be there, but I don't want to leave and think I didn't do my best for these guys. Change is fine, rules are fine, but let's stick to something logical people.

Life Achievement Unlocked! :D

3 days of work/life induced sleep-deprivation later....I find myself driving my nana's truck down main st, heading home to sleep after having assisted in a church conference. Suddenly,  through the misty haze of my mind....a Whim whispered "Buy a Car!" I resisted passively, saying I'm pretty sure I can't afford it....

Next thing I know..... I've signed a whole bunch of papers at the first dealership I happened to come across and it's too late to back out! Not that I cared, I was just signing stuff. Whoo! Car! (my wallet cried silently in the background.)

Several phone calls, a few financial withdrawals, and a payment schedule later....the buyer's remorse is chewing up my soul. O_O (GAAAHHH!) I drove home in the truck, feeling like I'd committed a heinous crime against my finances, and the panic attack set in like a flash flood of horror. But then again..... this was My car! My own!  FINALLY. I brought my Chevy Cobalt home a couple days later and it was like unlocking an achievement in a game, I leveled up to car-owner! So here's the official announcement, 

WHOOOO! I BOUGHT A CAR!!!! :D