I'm pleased to acknowledge I've almost reached my first 48 sober hours in almost 5 years. I could not sleep however, melatonin and diphenhydramine did absolutely nothing. I finally slipped into a light sleep around 10:30a and woke again around 1p. I've been up since, and very productive! I cleaned, I cooked, I did a solid 3hrs of schoolwork...and then I hit a wall. It's 11p and once again sleep evades me. I have read far too many "mess around and find out" stories of others that opted to test the disulfiram reaction to be that foolish, but this is my new reality. I need to find new ways to decompress, to self-sooth when I'm upset, to fill my life with something more than the nothing of before. Where there was a ceasing of awareness, I now need to grow my environment. For any others that have sobered, how did you manage in the beginning? how long until your withdrawal symptoms kicked in and/or went away?
Also, I am hesitant to go to an AA meeting, but my Dr and Therapist are more or less demanding I go. I found a couple nearby, but I feel I would have more success if I devoted my time to unrelated goals. Like school, writing, photography....the things I used to love before I became substance dependent. Open to to hear other stories if anyone out there reads this.
onward to the next 24hrs. :)
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