That awkward moment....#drugs

Ok,  seriously,  I need to start sleeping at night because this whole 8a training just isn't going to fly anymore. The main point here is why am I here when I'm supposed to be in fabulous new hire training? Because it wouldn't be my life if something didn't go unexpectedly and humorously wrong.

Yesterday was Awesome. Lots of paperwork and training, and learning about all the different programs run by this company. I was feeling work pride already, lol. :) they had us do our testing there with a nurse, which was cool for me because she explained how everything works. So I took my tb test and thankfully I'd already had my hep b series through ASU so I didn't have to take the shots. (ANY reduction in needles coming near me is a massive positive in my life, lol.) Everything was going Great! .........except...............

       ...guess who failed the drug test?...

o.O  <- your face right?

Yea. Me.

I tested positive for Opioids and Amphetamines.  (Apparently that boils down to Heroin and Meth?)

O___O     <- aaand your face now.

That's right ladies and gents, I'm a crack head. Or, wait, is that street for meth? No, that's for cocaine isn't it? So, Mary Jane, right?  Sorry, I'm new to this, I've only been labeled since yesterday lol.

Actually, the source of my druggie-ness  isn't from some shady handshake or briefcase drop-off in a dark corner. It's actually from Phentermine. A weight loss pill I've been taking prescribed by a real licenced physician on a weekly basis.  (which I highly recommend by the way, just not when drug testing for a job, lol.)

So they sent me to go get another drug test at a hospital. Naturally, I went to the Sonora Quest there and it closed at 4:30. I arrived at 4:38. -_-

Today, I managed by some sheer inner strength to get out of bed at 6:45a and head out to the lab again where I was promptly informed that I needed to have brought a formal request from my employer to get the test taken. (Ok, seriously, I am so not awake enough for this, and I really need to go pee, but I have to save it, auuughh!) 

Long story short, I had gone to the wrong testing center, but I still needed a form. So about 45 bladder-bursting minutes later, the correct testing center informed me that the lab will send the results to my employer within 24-48hrs. This means I can't return to training until after the lab concludes I'm on drugs and I formally present them with the phentermine. 

So now I'm back in bed, that place of comfort and love.... (*see blog post Vortex of Doom) good night ppl!

countdown to life, in 5, 4, 3...

In about 5 hours, I will once again rejoin the working class and be a useful member of society.  So why am I not asleep? Partly because I'm recently addicted to Hay Day (I figured out how to push those dang frogs off my property, hehehe!!! Cunning!!!  Skill!!!) but mostly because I'm nervous.

   I've taken work in social services as an overnight associate. (So staying up late is probably good preemptive training..)

    I went unexpectedly with my mother to a conference training regarding our food bank a couple weeks back and happened to sit at a table with my Now boss. He had been speaking about his workplace, and when I expressed interest he advised me of a position available at his location. I applied, interviewed with 3 authorities there, and was fortunately hired following the tour. God-sent, right?  That's how I see it. Nonetheless, nearly everyone I've told has been concerned for my safety - more so than I had expected. It hadn't seemed like a big deal to me initially, I was just excited to be working again. Fortunately, a friend of mine from Macy's told me his wife had previously worked in the same position, so I contacted her and she was kind enough to give me a crash course on what sorts of things to expect and duties I'll have in this position.

Worries aside, I'm currently laying on the furthermost upper left corner of my bed,  surrounded by the upheaved dredges of my life. I mean, bedroom.

For those that frequent my home,  you're aware that my room is nearly always a mess, but this is a literal and thorough gutting out of my possessions. Why? It's the result of a desperate search for documents that have hitherto been unheeded and carelessly packaged.  (They asked for everything short of a blood sample, although I'm sure that'll be next on the list.)

Seriously, I'm sharing a bed with boxes of books that I'm too lazy to attempt to balance elsewhere.....while odds and ends from thrift stores, vhs tapes, valueless beanie babies, paint tubes, comics, broken trophies my mom won't let me toss, more books, clothes and shoes litter every other available space. Oh, and one of my closet doors is leaning against my dresser.  (I had to go through my closet shelf as well.) The smell of dust is prevalent.

I was relatively successful, but failed to locate my AA. I knooowww it's in here somewhere, but I may have to just order a duplicate.

Well, I'm tempted to just stay up, but since caffeine and I have a rather tenuous friendship, I suppose some sleep is better than none. Here's to working, learning, and having money to buy cat food lol. Cheers!

The one with the Hashtags.

It's been two months since I've been of any use to society as a whole...

#bumming #useless #sleep

I stare up at my ceiling in the morning, well no, I stare at my side wall since I'm a side sleeper, and ask, What do I do today? The walls aren't helping though, they stare at me with a blank face. #Jerks

It's funny, being jobless makes you really ponder about the point of living. Or is that just me?
#justme

Without a job, what do you do? I, personally, mope. Working gives me a sense of belonging, a sense of meaning, of being needed, and of accomplishment.

#canyoutellimsingle? #notamom #notinschool

I've always loved my jobs. All of them. I've never worked somewhere I hated. I wouldn't even apply somewhere just to apply unless I really thought I'd enjoy the work and could see myself staying. I'm a firm believer that you should love what you do. My dad taught me that if you do what you love, it'll be easier to succeed. I'm sure he meant long-term, but I applied it short term and it works for me. So this whole "Experiencing retirement Minus the travel/Housewife training" period, is NOT THE BUSINESS!

#notaboutthatHousewifeLife

The only new thing going on right now, is that I'm back on a health kick. (THE COKE MARKET IS CRASHING! PANIC EVERYWHERE! MILLIONS OF DOLLARS LOST!! STOCKS DECLINE DRASTICALLY! *coke owner tries to jump off building in publicity stunt* lol. #thestruggleisreal.


I've started drinking tea (real tea, no sugar), walking on the previously neglected treadmill, keeping real track of my calorie intake, and drinking more water. It tortures me inside to drink water, as I've mentioned, so the tea thing has helped a lot. Plus, I'm going to a clinic and have partnered up with one of my best friends, soooo they're all keeping me accountable.

that's all I have for now, no crazy workouts or crazy dieting. Doable, manageable, and not totally miserable yet lol.