That awkward moment....#drugs

Ok,  seriously,  I need to start sleeping at night because this whole 8a training just isn't going to fly anymore. The main point here is why am I here when I'm supposed to be in fabulous new hire training? Because it wouldn't be my life if something didn't go unexpectedly and humorously wrong.

Yesterday was Awesome. Lots of paperwork and training, and learning about all the different programs run by this company. I was feeling work pride already, lol. :) they had us do our testing there with a nurse, which was cool for me because she explained how everything works. So I took my tb test and thankfully I'd already had my hep b series through ASU so I didn't have to take the shots. (ANY reduction in needles coming near me is a massive positive in my life, lol.) Everything was going Great! .........except...............

       ...guess who failed the drug test?...

o.O  <- your face right?

Yea. Me.

I tested positive for Opioids and Amphetamines.  (Apparently that boils down to Heroin and Meth?)

O___O     <- aaand your face now.

That's right ladies and gents, I'm a crack head. Or, wait, is that street for meth? No, that's for cocaine isn't it? So, Mary Jane, right?  Sorry, I'm new to this, I've only been labeled since yesterday lol.

Actually, the source of my druggie-ness  isn't from some shady handshake or briefcase drop-off in a dark corner. It's actually from Phentermine. A weight loss pill I've been taking prescribed by a real licenced physician on a weekly basis.  (which I highly recommend by the way, just not when drug testing for a job, lol.)

So they sent me to go get another drug test at a hospital. Naturally, I went to the Sonora Quest there and it closed at 4:30. I arrived at 4:38. -_-

Today, I managed by some sheer inner strength to get out of bed at 6:45a and head out to the lab again where I was promptly informed that I needed to have brought a formal request from my employer to get the test taken. (Ok, seriously, I am so not awake enough for this, and I really need to go pee, but I have to save it, auuughh!) 

Long story short, I had gone to the wrong testing center, but I still needed a form. So about 45 bladder-bursting minutes later, the correct testing center informed me that the lab will send the results to my employer within 24-48hrs. This means I can't return to training until after the lab concludes I'm on drugs and I formally present them with the phentermine. 

So now I'm back in bed, that place of comfort and love.... (*see blog post Vortex of Doom) good night ppl!