Month #4

Currently, laying in bed, reading my own blog. (Cuz, well, I'm damn funny! Haaa.....jk :p) I wanted to see where I've been, and remember anything I've forgotten. I've been 26 for 5 days now, a week I'll never forget. I changed, it was just too much grief and anger. The happiness in my heart has been filled with cement. I think I may have frightened my co-workers and the residents, they've never seen me be still and silent. Perhaps it's better. I still feel vaguely unwanted by morning staff, like I'm begrudgingly being allowed to remain, and that doesn't help. Perhaps if I just shut off, shut down emotions, stop talking to anyone, then perhaps I'd be acceptable. 30mins from now I'll be headed there again. Tonight we implement some new rules my boss wants to try out, so fingers crossed.
   There's a woman at my work, she's my supervisor. I have a feeling that everywhere she goes, no matter what she's doing, she's thinking about the shelter. I've been there 4 months now,  and since reading my blog, I realize I'm becoming the same way. Even now,  i already want to be There,  not Here. After work, I want to linger and see if there's anything last minute that needs doing, and briefly interact with the next shift. My boss says we lack cohesion - I think this is because we don't take the time to get to know each other. We have no team building activities, nor time to do them. We don't trust each other, and there's a lack of syncopy between those that have been there for Years and we that are yet fledglings.
On another note, I've been thinking I should take a brief vacation. Go to Long Beach, back home to California with my cousin. Eating crab at ports-o-call, and taking a brief cruise off the pier.....before school starts and hell really breaks loose. I'm looking forward to the misery of school. :) I work well under stress, and at this rate I'll probably get straight A's.  :p