Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Murder: a wallet's tale

I'd like to start by making it perfectly clear that I'm among the most fiscally irresponsible people on earth. I'm fairly certain the U.S. Treasury and I are neck and neck for 1st place in the Spending vs. Income Deficit division.

   Given that, I'd like to announce my Extreme excitement at being introduced to Preapproved-Credit Catalogs and Layaway.

(queue trumpets, exploding confetti, and heralding cherubs from Debt Hell.)

It's not that I've never heard of layaway, or seen a catalog but I've never had my own.....

                 It's Heady.

             .....like Love......

           and Debilitating.

           ........like a Virus......

It invaded my mail (Catalogs magically started appearing with preapprovals), Holiday Layaway Specials flooded my favorite stores (Only 10% Down!! ), and ultimately.....the spending disease infiltrated my veins. I didn't have a chance.

   I won't go into all the grisly, dollar-wrenching, paycheck-gutting details...but suffice it to say that from this day hence, my wallet and account will refer to this period as

     THE EPOCH OF DARKNESS.

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